Dear Abby: My secret help of pregnant niece angers her family

Dear Abby: I was married to a man whose family always seemed to work for each other. When his 18-year-old niece became pregnant again, she already had two children. She hid it from everyone. When she was eight months old, she came to me and said she couldn’t have another child, so she wanted to adopt the baby to a family that couldn’t have children. Told.

She begged me not to tell anyone except my husband (her uncle) and asked me to watch her two children overnight while she was in labor in the hospital. She also asked me to meet the potential adoptive parents at my home and told me she was planning an open adoption without ever telling the parents. I reluctantly agreed because she said she was desperate for help.

Two months after the baby was born and put up for adoption, she told her family about it. They got very angry with me. They said I should have told them she was pregnant and that it was my fault they “lost” the child, which ultimately led to her divorce from her husband. Connected. To this day, her niece is happy with her decision and has entered a public adoption. Was it wrong for her to help her and not tell her family? — Best friend from Colorado

Dear Best Friend: Your letter proves the truth of the adage that “good deeds go unpunished.” Your ex-husband’s niece came of age when her third child was born. You were right in helping her. For her to betray you after asking for your help indicates that she wasn’t mature enough to handle the responsibility of raising yet another child.

You weren’t responsible for her baby being adopted—she was. I am sorry that it led to the failure of your marriage. My sympathies go out to you, but perhaps you should thank your lucky stars for having this dysfunctional family in your rearview mirror.

Dear Abby: My neighbors and I are fortunate to live in a quiet, peaceful and beautiful community. Most of us are retired. Four of us have dogs and she enjoys meeting them and walking them down the street in the morning. We never walk her before 7:30.Quiet hours in our neighborhood are from 6pm to 7am.

Naturally, we chat while walking the dog — at a normal voice level. One of our neighbors likes to sleep until 9am and he keeps complaining that our conservation work wakes him up. We try to speak softly. However, he constantly complains about “dog walkers”. How can we handle this gracefully? We feel entitled to enjoy our beautiful neighborhood. — Coexistence in North Carolina

Dear Coexistence: Of course it is. However, in the spirit of neighborly love, consider walking your dog in the opposite direction. Or stop chatting when you’re near his house and resume when you’re past his bedroom window.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Find out what teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents in What Every Teen Should Know. Please send your name, mailing address, and $8 (US funds) check or money order to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. It is an inclusive price.)

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